Tuesday, March 2, 2010

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE NURSERY ISSUE

Okay,  after being nudged along to put out our thoughts on the subject..here goes.  I will preface by saying that these are our personal views and this is not some (what were the words?  large theological arguement??) "large theological arguement."  :)  We are certainly willing to listen to everyone's point of view (but not necessarily agree ;) ).  I'm not sure at this point that our thoughts are fully complete--this is a work in progress.  Our children are far from perfect.  We are far from perfect.  We learn every week and also with the different personalities of our children..Feel free to comment.  I'd like to hear what you have to say. 

"But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me:  for of such is the kingdom of heaven."  Matt. 19:14

We have our kids sit in the church sanctuary with us.  We started Michael at 13 months and Carina was slightly older.  Prior to sitting in the sanctuary, I (mostly, I--though sometimes Mike would switch off with me) would sit with the infant in the cry-room at the back of the sanctuary.  Once the kids got too big for the cry room, too noisy and too squirmy--around the 7month age--we move downstairs to the "library."  For those of you unfamiliar with our church, it is quite small, and there are not many options when it comes to other places to sit.  Yes, there is a nursery.  No, obviously we do not use it.  We had decided on this route prior to Michael being born and at the point when he was getting too noisy and squirmy--we had asked the consistory if it was okay if we purchased a speaker to put downstairs.  They okayed the request.  So. downstairs in the "library" is our speaker.  There I sit with the child until s/he is able to understand about being quiet.  Right now, I have Rian..and she does not get it yet.  Point is, we sit by ourselves, quietly.  We may have a toy or two, but we do not focus on play.  We listen, we read, we pray, we sing.  If I have to talk to her, I whisper...just as if we were sitting in the sanctuary. 

Alright, without further ado, some thoughts.

 I think that the little peeps and squeaks that come from young children are an acceptable part of worship--think about it--do you think the Israelites traveling in the wilderness had a silent worship?!!!  I imagine that it was quite noisy.  Those little peeps and squeaks are also a sign of blessings..God has seen fit to give the church children.  A precious reminder of His covenant!  Several Pastors have noted that they are not distracted by these little noises.  (Of course, if your 2 year old is screaming at the top of his/her lungs--please do remove him/her from the room!!) 

When you allow your children to play in the nursery for 2..3...4....5..whatever the case may be, years--you are in essence sending them a mixed message.  "Okay, Sally and Bob, it is the Lord's Day and we're going to go worship in His house--it is a holy day..buuuuuut..only for Mommy and Daddy because you can go play with all your friends.  Yeah, it is okay, run around...just, uh, try to behave."  So, this goes on for ____years until one day, Mommy and Daddy decide it is NOT okay anymore.  No more playing--you have to sit still and not make noises--AT ALL.  Ummmm???!!!  It is no wonder that we see kids even much older, that cannot sit still..they didn't have any training in it.

Training.  Yes, if you sit with your own children and train them to be quiet and sit still--you are preparing them for future things..school, for example.  You are also teaching them to be respectful...

Another area of contention, which I'm sure you are all aware of, GERMS!!  I don't think I need to say more on that subject.

The nursery also relies on volunteers to help watch the children.  You are taking people away from hearing the preaching of God's Word to watch your children.  In a lot of cases, you are taking those "tweens" that are at such an impressionable age and NEED in a special way to be sitting under the preaching. 

"So then faith cometh by hearing , and hearing by the word of God."  Romans 10:17

The earlier the better!!!!!!!!!

Having the children sitting in church as opposed to playing in the nursery is not always easy. 
Nor is it a one step process..
Sometimes the kids still need to be taken out.
It is hard for an adult to sit still for an hour and a half--keep your expectations real.
If they need to stand up, let them stand up for a minute.
You may need to practice at home.
I can't wait for the day when we can all sit together as a family--but this time of training, in our eyes, is essential and in the long run, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sometimes, as the parent, we don't hear the amount of the sermon that we wished to..
download that sermon and re-listen to it!!
Take notes..or if not notes--then write down key words that you can go back and meditate on.
Young children may need to hold the Psalter/songbook..or bring some books of thier own..or draw a picture...or hold their favorite stuffed animal..even if they are doing these things--you'd be surprised what they can still glean from the service.
And eventually you weed those things out--

The most important thing is that they are sitting under the preaching of the Word.



I know I have not addressed every facet of this issue..

(church dynamics, only one parent for multiple children, distractions to other congregants etc.)

but some of the more important aspects of our thoughts are there.
again, feel free to comment or question.

4 comments:

Trevor & Jill said...

Thanks so much for your post!! I really enjoyed reading it and you've left me with a few things to think about. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

when we get married we sacrifice ourself for the other, and when we have childern we sacrifice much more to raise them, we shouldnt be so selfish to have someone else babysit our kids so we can here more

Lorraine said...

I'm sorry but I'm SO easily distracted that I wouldn't be able to listen.(and no I did not grow up with a TV) I would hope that you'd all sit far back so I could be way out of hearing/visual range.We all learn differently and that has always been a problem for me. I also don't think because a 2 or 3 year old has heard a few words that they will in anyway get the gist of the sermon. Better you listen well and then you can explain it to them later. Just my (another)opinion though!

Anonymous said...

1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; But when I became a man, I put away childish things." This can also be applied to nursery,you put away childish things at the age of two or three and then you sit in church when you can actually start to gain something from the sermon. You as a parent might have to volunteer in nursery 1 out of 8 or 10 services, but that is better than being distracted by your infant/toddler 8 out of 8 services and not getting anything out of any service. As for the germs issue, I've noticed that children who are not in nursery get sick every bit as much as those children who are in nursery. Of course, if your child has been sick the past week, leave him/her out the following week.