Mid-March, 4-H held public presentations. For those of you not familiar with this, there are judges and you are scored on a variety of categories from appearance to content to time. This was MJ's second public presentation and Bean's first. Since it was Bean's first time, she had to choose something archery related, MJ could choose anything.
She chose to research and speak on archery targets.
For her pointer, she used an arrow.
MJ chose to research and speak about the history of legos!
Anyone surprised by that? ;)
I am very pleased to say that they both did fantastic jobs
and earned blue ribbons which is equal to an excellent!
It is really a blessing and a tragedy that life continues on.
On one hand, it would be so nice to just stop everything and just grieve.
The thought is there that we get so caught up in the daily grind that we, dare I say, forget the unforgettable even if just for a moment or two?
I have to say that my ability to grieve privately was taken away and I was rather angry at that.
I dreaded going into the place knowing that everyone knew and that there would be comments--well meaning as I know they were meant to be.
On reflection though, what was done was Biblical--we are called to bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2).
How can we bear them, if we don't know what they are?
How can we rightly pray for one another if we don't know the struggles?
It doesn't mean that I necessarily want to talk about it, but knowing that there are people praying really is a comfort.
Life does go on from one minute to the next. This task, person and the next all needing attention and we fix our focus outside of ourselves. That is a blessing. We don't focus all of our self ON ourselves and OUR feelings and such. Now certainly there cannot be a time limit--not Should there be--on grief.
We are back to a "regular" schedule this week. My husband is back to work, we are back to schooling and like I said, I'm a bit torn. I am thankful to have these tasks to do so that I'm not focused on just the heartbreak, but on the other hand, it is not something I can just "put behind" and move on. I am grateful that the weather is beautiful and sunny today and it seems that Spring is finally here..Easter is right around the corner and with it the remembrance that with the Resurrection is a hope for a new life.
"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy."
We like to think that we are in control of our lives, don't we?
First this happens and then this. If we make this choice then this will follow.
We have such neat little packages and labels. Even as a Christian and trusting in God's Sovereignty and Providence--we still get surprised when things don't go "as planned." So, when things come crashing down it is a blow..a shock.
We have just had another crushing blow.
We lost another unborn child.
And it is hard.
It is so hard.
I am thankful though.
I am thankful that when I first saw that smear of blood, I had caregivers that I trusted to call.
I am thankful that even when the office was closed, they had me come in to check for a heartbeat.
I am thankful for modern medicine that allowed us to have an ultrasound to confirm that there was no life.
I am thankful for children who dropped what they were doing at a word to leave to go to the doctor.
I am thankful for a husband who left his work at a moments notice to come be with me.
I am thankful for the ladies that prayed with me, seeing that something was wrong as I had to leave the place I was.
I am thankful for a hospital that is not too distant when the bleeding got excessive.
I am thankful for my Dad who took the kids no questions asked.
I am thankful that I did not need surgery.
I am thankful for a body that works properly to know when something is wrong.
I am thankful that my husband ran in after I passed out at home a few days later.
I am thankful for my Mom who got from the phone call in the middle of the night, to her car in three minutes and came just behind the police officers--so we didn't have to wake the kids.
I am thankful for law enforcement and other caregivers that give up time with their families to serve others.
As much as I hated being in that hospital every second--I am thankful that my husband cared enough to force me to go.
I am thankful that even though my blood pressure and count was dangerous I didn't need a transfusion.
I am thankful that even though my heart rate was dangerous--it was and is still beating.
I am thankful for a home and a family to come home to.
I am thankful for family and friends and churches that pray.
I am thankful I live in a country where we have the freedom to do so.
I am thankful for those who put others first when they see the need.
I am thankful that I have six healthy, vibrant children.
I am thankful for a quiet house right now so I can think on these things, painful as they are.
I am also thankful that I was entrusted, even for a brief time, with the lives of two more little ones.
Because there is a reason and purpose for them, whether I see it now or not.
I don't know why this is my story.
I do know that this story was written long before I could have imagined it.
I do know that I can trust the Author.
I do know that all of this pain and heartache is nothing in comparison with some.
I do know that all of this pain and heartache is absolutely nothing in comparison with what Jesus suffered.
We were never promised that this life would be easy.
We are promised that in Him there is strength to bear it.
I pray that these crosses point us ever to THE CROSS.
I am not really current in the Contemporary Christian Music world or artists etc., but this song really speaks to me and our current situation.